I keep checking my watch. The seconds are turning into minutes, the minutes into hours, and the hours into days. My eyes are wide open and actively searching for the signs. But unfortunately, it appears as though "my time" is not exactly "God's time." I guess I have a serious case of the Gimmes. ("Gimme" is slang for "give me.") I know exactly what I want, when I want it, and how I'd like to have it. I keep waiting for my heart's desire to be gently dropped into my lap, wrapped up allll pretty with a big ol' bow... and a big part of me wants to feel discouraged because it's just not happening.
But I know that God isn't necessarily going to answer my prayers when/how I'd like Him to. There are so many things in my life that I prayed for, hoping for God to open the perfect door and allow me to walk in effortlessly, and He either A) just gave me a straight "no" for an answer, or B) answered my prayer much later on and exceeded my expectations far beyond what I could've dreamed.
Like, for instance, all those times I prayed when I was a lovestruck, hormonal teenager crying out to God over a broken heart... wanting him to "fix" the guy I was dating so that our relationship could be perfect and we could live happily ever after. And He didn't. Instead, He helped me get back up off the ground, brushed me off, helped me to grow a little wiser, and sent me walking into my next relationship. Repeat cycle. Five years later, He brought Jason into my life. Six years later, I'm happily married to a godly man in a Christ-centered marriage that could only be better if it were taking place in Heaven. OR, take my job situation for example. Sure, I've been out of high school for almost ten years (gasp!) and surely thought I'd have a "Big Girl Job" (aka full-time teaching position) by now... and God took me through a series of employment opportunities that may not have been ideal for the long-term, but they have shaped me into the teacher that I am and will be this year. God answered my prayer for a job in His timing; when I would be in the best condition to be effective as a teacher.
And now... as I'm anxiously awaiting the next big chapter of our lives, I know that God is taking us through this process and placing us in various circumstances that will help us to appreciate our blessing when the time is right... and that even though I want what I want so badly that it almost hurts, I know that His plan and timing are going to be so much better than I can even imagine.
So with that said, I'm trying to shake that Case of the Gimmes and focusing my eyes on Him and basking in His glory. And when His time is right, I bet He'll knock my socks off.
Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us. - Ephesians 3:20